Attack of the Killer Tomatos

Jade huddled under the petunia display stand. She’d only come in for some new pruning shears, and a small selection of herbs and plants for the alternative collection in the medi-bay. Dr Ventrite had also asked for a few things and she’d happily agreed to go after her shift had finished and pick them up. It hadn’t taken long for things to start going horribly wrong. Her shift had been fairly unusually busy, but this was… Something else.

She’d stood looking lost, caught between the cacti and the pest eating plants like Venus fly traps and Picher plants. The burley employee had pushed past her, the watering hose in disrepair soaking her and creating a wet puddle at her feet. Jade sighed, apologised for getting in the way (even though, she mused, it had not been her fault) and stepped to one side. She watched in horror as the employee had managed to get tangled in the hose as he turned to berate her and fallen into the cactus display. She started forwards to help him, as the three laughing crew members had either slipped in the wet puddle, tripped over their own feet into the roses or caught themselves on the hose and pulled it free of the original employee sending water everywhere as the thing snaked as flew about.

Everyone paused for a moment as the dust settled and cacti were removed from painful places. Jade had offered her hand to help people up and had begun asking if everyone was alright when the boyfriend of the crewmember who had fallen into the roses turned up. Seeing the scratched and bloodied visage of his beau and the annoyed grumpy expressions on everyone’s faces he assumed that they had done it deliberately. The gym freak boyfriend launched a punch at the employee. He over did the effort needed and slammed his fist into the wall, creating a shower of sparks and giving himself a rather painful electric shock. Wires hanging loosely and sparking across the wall plating ominously close to catching the puddles of water.

At a loss as to who to help first, Jade stood bewildered by the events unfolding around her. A helpful Samaritan grabbed her by the elbow and dragged her to the floor as a lawnmower sailed overhead and slammed into a crown of people. That’s when the screaming and the chaos really began. People ran in different directions, manners forgotten. People were jostled, slammed, pushed and yelled at. At one point someone spilled the bags of fertiliser, someone else tripped, dropping a cigarette and setting the whole mess on fire. A youngish crew member tripped and fell, being grabbed and having his fingers chomped on my the pest display plants.

Jade, fearing for her life now scuttled over to the petunia table and cowered underneath it as the chaos blossomed into insanity. The sparking electricity, the heat and the fertiliser all reacted explosively with the plants and fruit started growing. Growing in size and teeth before dropping off the vines and bouncing and rolling across the floor after the running people. Jade managed to get out her mobile and sent a text to the Dwarfers from the original universe.

‘Stuck in garden centre. Killer Tomatoes. Help. Xx - Jade’

The message flew through the ether, but if anyone would get it she didn’t know. She watched as the tomatoes bounced, squishing their way through the aisles of the garden centre. From not too far away she heard tiny squeaky voices. Risking poking her head out she watched as a small hoard of gnomes tottered past. She reached out and tapped one on the shoulder.

“Oh. Excuse me. Can you help me get out of here? Please.” She asked. Recalling the message that had been over the tannoy not too long ago. If they declined then it was bad for them. The gone looked at her, it’s robotic face frowning before nodding and speaking up.

“We are taking prisoners to help us leave this place. This garden is now dangerous, we will hunt new land. Come giant lady you can help us escape!” It tottered off after its friends and Jade shrugged, risking leaving the safety of the petunias.


Joss grinned as he wildly kicked out at the gnomes, shattering pottery and wiring. Jade rounded the corner after her tiny friend and watched in horror, recognition on her face as Cass raised her boot to join in.

“Cass no!” Jade said, panic in her voice as she bellowed. Cass faltered at the last minute, karma kicking in and rather than smash the gnome, she staggered and came to a stop, accidentally smashing one of the tomatoes into paste as it bounced out of a thick patch of vines. She blinked and looked up at Jade. Tanaka also paused, having been less lucky he’d killed a few gnomes. Joss however, was most likely in big trouble. Everyone took a step away from him.


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