Characters in this post
View character profile for: Cassandra Jones
View character profile for: Jay Chrysler
View character profile for: Dr Jade Black
View character profile for: Jamie Eastlick
View character profile for: Bruno Downing
View character profile for: Jason Tanaka
View character profile for: Talon Joss
View character profile for: Thomas Plisken
Caddies and Cudgels
Everyone piled into the golf cart. Jay had hopped into the driver's seat and proceeded to gun the cart in the opposite direction of the approaching horde of angry alien Vikings. Already arrows were raining down on the lot. The few that managed to hit the cart made a loud *SPRANG* sound and embedded themselves into the enamel white paneling.
Yakekeekekek and his entourage were doing the same thing as the Dwarfers. Piling into a massive, gem encrusted, gold plated monstrosity that hovered and even made the stereotypical *memememememe* sound you'd hear in an old Jetsons cartoon. An arrow sank itself into Yakekeekekek's carapace and he shrieked. His cart was faster than the Dwarfer's however, and he was soon a speck on the distant horizon of the course.
The horde descended upon the Dwarfer's cart, hurling themselves at it and fruitlessly tossing spears and firing arrows at them. A thing that looked not unlike a orcish pigman grabbed the side of the cart and took a swing at Cass's head with a golf club. She ducked just in time to avoid the blow, which Tanaka took instead.
Luckily, during the hail of arrows, he had opted to switch to soft-light mode. So the club passed harmlessly through him and instead clobbered Talon in the face. Talon spun around and fell out of the cart.
Another alien, several times larger than pigman, gripped the side of the cart and its massive weight caused the cart to tilt and topple over. Everyone was thrown out of the cart. The horde of aliens continued to rush towards them.
Jay hefted his golf club up like a sword and proceeded to "sword fight" some aliens who were wielding their golf clubs in a similar manner. The others took up similar stances and prepared to do battle with the aliens.
Thomas took notice of the pail of explosive golf balls that had fallen from the cart, sending the deadly things across the green. He began to gather them and started striking the balls into the horde to keep them at bay.
"Run! Run!" Talon said. "There's too many of them!"
"Where?" Cass asked.
"There!" Tanaka pointed as a spear made out of a sharpened golf club passed through his head. "Is that a caddyshack?"
"Anything's better than here!" Cass said as she started for the caddyshack.
The others followed suit as Thomas continued to provide cover with the explosive golf balls.
So what do we find in the caddyshack? My vote is an alien version of Bill Murray strangling a giant gopher.