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View character profile for: Cassandra Jones
View character profile for: Jamie Eastlick
View character profile for: Jason Tanaka
View character profile for: Thomas Plisken
View character profile for: Fergus O'Malley
View character profile for: Pickman
View character profile for: Dr Richard Pornsak
View character profile for: Belvedyr 2X4B-666P
Posted: Sep 8, 2018, 11:19pm
"Ok ok I have an idea." Dick announced. They had been standing outside the cave for the last twenty minutes arguing over the benefits of cop killing over taking on a squid faced king pin of the criminal underworld. Over all it had been a well balanced and reasoned argument with everyone coming to the common conclusion that they were well and truly screwed. The group turned to listen to Pornsak and he stood there for a moment in stunned silence as he formulated the words that would be least likely to earn him the coveted title of Smeg Head, currently held by Jamie who had most recently suggested that they hire an assassin to kill the gangster or maybe the cop, perhaps both.
"Well," demanded Cass, "We are waiting."
"Right yes," Dick stammered, "We need to get the cave thing to help us get onto my ship."
"He wont let us do anything until we bring him the head of..." Jamie started to say but Pornsak waved him to silence.
"So we get a bag of something nasty and say we put the chaps head in a blender. A bag 'o' brains."
"Ok even if he buys it, it wont take long for him to discover that the mark is still walking around the place and not in fact dead at all. Then we all die horrible deaths." Thomas pointed out.
"No no we use what is on my ship to trap the squiddy thing in a quantum container."
"A what?" Jamie asked.
"Gnuran vruuuk allsjas." Tanaka offered.
"Exactly!" exclaimed Pornsak, "It's a box with a pocket universe inside. I used one on Blue Midget when the toilet got blocked and I couldn't eject my you know whats you know where."
"So somewhere out there is a pocket universe filled with your..." Cass started to retch.
"Ok we get on the ship, we get the box, we put him inside. How do we get him inside?" Jamie asked.
"Easy," Pornsak explained, "The box creates a vacuum if opened all the way. Anything in its path gets sucked inside and trapped. We tell him that the container is filled with drugs or guns or drugs and guns. He opens it up to take a peek and hey presto, canned squid."
"This could work." Cass said.
"Vlurka gmurg." Tanaka agreed.
"Over here!" Pickman and O'Malley cried in unison as the Dwarfers filed out of the room looking terrified as usual.
The giant squid headed creature was chuckling to himself he watched them leave and then once they were finally gone he gave a long sigh turned to look at his snow globe collection. He frowned at one globe in particular. There had been a flicked of movement. Slowly he crept forward his eyes trained on the glass.
"Oh shit he's seen us." Fergus moaned.
"Keep still you utter Gimboid." growled Pickman, who was doing his best to look like a tiny statue.
The creature was upon them now. One large eye ball dominating their view.
"Do you think he saw us?" Fergus asked through gritted teeth.
"I dont thinks so." Pickman replied who was suddenly trying his best not to sneeze