Characters in this post
View character profile for: Cassandra Jones
View character profile for: Seymour Niples
View character profile for: Justin Pancake
View character profile for: White Wolf
View character profile for: Jay Chrysler
"Honoured guests" Legion interrupted, raising his voice above hers "Please be seated; dinner will commence at once!"
As Legion had updated Justin' hardlight drive so that he could eat, he enjoyed using his boomerang spoon, which unfortunately clocked Whitewolf around the head each time he tried to use it. Eventually he managed to get the food close to his face, catching himself in the eye. “Ow, well it's a good job holograms don't bruise!” He said, but Whitewolf was getting angry with him.
“Yes, but you're not immune to being pouched, which is what will happen if you hot me with that spoon again!”
Justin then decided to keep it simple and use his hands instead. He reached out for a bowl of Mimosian dumplings but Seymour snatched it back. “Where are your manners Mister Pancake?”
“Err... When I died I don't think they were backed up.” He said.
“Well that's typical.” Said Seymour. “The nice Mister Legion here is being good enough to give us all a banquet, you should at least use the cutlery he's put out for us.”
“But... but...” Justin said, looking at Whitewolf who was giving him the evil eye.
Justin reluctantly picked up the Boomerang spoon again and tried to use it, but once again hitting Whitewolf. “Right, that's it!” Said the angry hamster, standing up. Justin ducked under the table.
“Gentlemen please relax, there is no need to impress me.” Legion said.
“I'm terribly sorry, these uncouth morons aren't all cultured as cultured as me.” Said Seymour.
Justin blew a raspberry in Seymour's direction.
After the main course, Justin followed Legion into the kitchen, carrying a pile of dirty plates.
“So, you know what you said about this holographic facility...” Justin started.
“Ah yes, the burning desire is too much for you to cope with isn't it Justin?” Said Legion.
“Err... yes. I want to know more.”
“I know you do. You see, you're incredibly easy to manipulate Justin, which is why I planted that little seed in your memory earlier. You're now willing to do anything to know more aren't you?”
“Err... almost anything.” Justin said.
“No. You ARE willing to do anything.”
Justin thought about the possibilities. If a place existed where he could change his programming, he could change anything about his personality he wanted, he could be more confident, he could be more attractive, and most important of all, he could experience sexual desire one again.
“Okay. I WILL do anything.” He paused in thought. “So... when they invented holograms they tried to make them as realistic as possible didn't they? But I guess they missed certain things out, right? Like... err... holograms can't fart.”
Legion nodded, and the pipe on his face moved slowly up and down. “Although there is a big trade in creating add-ons to make holograms more realistic. I know because I created many add-ons myself. Did you want to be able to fart?”
“Well...” Justin kicked at the floor. “It's not exactly useful is it?”
“But it would make you feel more like a Human.”
“Come here then.” Said Legion.
“Err...” Justin stepped closer.
“I lied when I said I couldn't help you. I can actually send an automated shuttle to the facility and bring back whatever add-on you want.”
“Why don't you just give me the coordinates?” Justin asked.
Legion waggled a finger in front of his face. “Because then you won't help me.”
Justin sighed. “What do you want me to do?”
“Destroy the Starbug you came here in.” Legion said.
“WHAT? No way man! How would we get home?”
“You said you would do anything.”
Justin bit his lip. He did say that.
“This is a better home than the draughty old ship you were on. I can provide everythign your crewmates want and need.” Legion changed his tactic. “Imagine the feel of that air being released from your buttocks. It is a strange and satisfying feeling is it not?” Said Legion.
Justin giggled. “Yeah, it is I suppose.”
“Destroy the Starbug and I'll give you the add-on to fart.”
Justin screwed up his face. “No way man. I want the orgasm add-on.”
“One step at a time Justin.”
“Great night!” Jay said to Cass, as the two walked back to their room
“Yeah…” said Cass, stopping as Jay opened the door to their quarters “But I was talking to Legion earlier and….”
She was interrupted, by Jay, grabbing her and kissing her strongly on the lips.
“What were you saying?” Jay asked as they broke off their embrace.
“....never mind…” Cass replied simply, kissing him back, and throwing the pair onto the bed where their bodies melted into each other….
Cass pulled away from the kissing and lifted herself up with an elbow. “Wait, was that you heavy breathing?”
“Sorry I didn't realise.” Jay said, his arm around Cass, trying to unhook her bra. “It's been a long time...”
“No, it's not you. It's coming from the cupboard.
Jay sprung up off the bed and stared at the cupboard. It was silent until there was a short curt fart. “Oh smeg.” Said a voice from inside.
Jay thrust the doors open to find Justin standing there.
“Get out you filthy pervert!” Jay shouted, and manhandled the hologram out into the corridor, slamming the door. “Wait. Since when could Holograms fart?”
It had been half an hour before everyone went to bed that Justin had slipped into the Institute's Hangarbay where the Starbug was parked. First he emptied the entire room of air, so that what he was about to do next wouldn't create a sound. Then he climbed aboard the green shuttle and set the engines to overload. He stood back and watched as the 3 million year old shuttle blew itself to smithereens silently.
<Sorry guys, but once again Justin has been manipulated by a baddie. How will we get away now?>