Characters in this post
View character profile for: Cassandra Jones
View character profile for: Seymour Niples
View character profile for: Justin Pancake
View character profile for: Garr Bedge
View character profile for: Jacky Kong
The base at the end of time and spacePosted by
Posted: Oct 18, 2012, 6:52am
Where: Swanky officer's dining room
When: Tea time
“Welcome Gentlemen.” Seymour said, as Alex came through the door into the posh dining room. Garr Bedge followed him, scraping his armour against the door frame.
“Careful Mr Simulant, I had the scutters repaint this room today ready for our exquisite big feast.” Seymour said.
“Feast?” Said Alex with a look of confusion. “I thought it was baked beans again?”
Seymour screwed up his face with embarrassment. “Yes, well. Admittedly, it IS beans again. But this time with an extra special twist. Mr Kong has brought some exotic Huzzard herbs and spices.”
They sat down around the large table. Justin peered into the cauldron of beans. “Just smells like normal beans to me.”
“Nonsense! The spices are quite exotic, I've named these 'beans a la flatulència', a Niples special.” Seymour kindly asked Garr Bedge to serve out the beans, dumping a pile of beans on everyone's face.
Seymour sank back into his wheelchair as he saw the unimpressed faces around the table. “I'm sorry chaps. I really wanted to create something impressive today, but there's simply no decent ingredients left. I wish, oh so much that we had some caviar... or lobster...”
“Phil told me he found something similar to lobster swimming around in the water resyc tanks.” said Jacky.
“Oh interesting.” Seymour said, taking a sip of water.
“Holly says apparently they evolved from discarded tampons. Maybe we should catch and eat them? ”
Seymour spat the water out all over the table. “There is not a chance I'm eating a floating tampon!” He gagged at the thought of it, then looked across the table at three empty chairs.
"Where's the moping time traveller and his flatulent friend?"
"I saw the 'orrible oomens in the flight deck getting into a 'orrible big blue square ship." said Garr Bedge. "Carrying a fridge."
"A fridge?" Seymour said, then remembered Phil's time fridge.
"They've taken Katrina and gone to save..." Alex said before Seymour slapped his forehead. "...Max".
"Good lord, they're going to get themselves killed."
Something strange happened to the ship and the room seemed to bend slightly, although nothing actually did. It was like being in a plane with the windows shut, you know you're going into a nose dive even though everything looks the same.
"Holly what's happening?"
Holly's face appeared, replacing a 18th century painting on the wall. "Dunno."
"Useless!" Seymour said.
Cass quickly stood up, at the ready with her psi-scanner. "We've changed time."
"What do you mean, the clocks have gone back?"
"No... we've moved in time and space. We're.... way in the future... or way in the past."
"What does that mean? Clarify woman!" Seymour snapped, wheeling over to her, craning his neck to see the psi-scanner.
"Well imagine a date, and add a million years onto it. No, a billion. A billion billion."
"Well, add another billion billion so that you're the closest possible date to infinity."
Seymour nodded, although was completely lost.
"It's the day after."
"It's the day after infinity?"
"Not quite. But if it helps.... yes." Said Cass. "It's date completely off our calendar."
"Morning or evening?" Justin asked, before Alex smacked him, then realised he couldn't because he was soft light now. Justin stuck his tongue out.
"We're somewhere between the furthest date in the future, and the earliest day in the past."
Seymour scratched his head. "Weren't we already?"
"No. We were somewhere between the earliest day in the past and the furthest day in the future. Understand?"
"Yes of course!" Seymour lied. "This is Chrysler and Febuggure's fault isn't it, those uncouth morons!"
Holly changed to show them a view of outside, showing a bright blue swirly space, with a small black hole in front of it, impossibly black. So black that it make your eyes hurt. Around the black hole was a lattice of metal pipes and walkways, connecting to a constructed metal base that arced a quarter of the way around the black hole. This was the STCP's HQ.
"The big crunch!" Said Cass with a gasp.
"My favourite breakfast cereal!" Said Justin, who almost got another slap until Alex realised it was pointless.
"The entire universe all crunched up into one black hole." Cass said. "It's the opposite of the big bang. At the beginning of time, everything spread out, at the end of time everything crunches up into one black hole."
They could see the Raven flying straight towards the buildings.
"Do you think they've spotted them yet?" Seymour said.
"Well there's nothing in the entire universe apart from us and them." Said Cass. “Sooo... maybe.”
There was some sort of wibbly wobbly time distortion and Seymour turned around, realising he was staring at the chest of Marilyn Monroe, dressed in a white jumpsuit with STCP insignia.
“Oh, err... hellp ma'am.” He said. “When, did you get here?”
“About 5 minutes ago.” She said. “Or just now...” her voice trailed off and she muttered to herself about how annoying it is talking to non-time travellers.
She sighed, then put her hands on her hips. “Yeah yeah, I'm Agent Monroe. The STCP rescued me when I was going through a bad time... do I have to explain this to everyone I meet?”
“Is the STCP entirely made up of famous people?” Asked Seymour.
“No of course not! Only hard working, intelligent people, who perhaps died before their time.”
“What about Abraham Lincoln and Elvis?” Seymour wondered.
“Oh, they left and set up on their own last year.” said Marilyn. “Difference of opinion.”
She ran her hand through her blonde hair. “So you've got two options. Either you leave here straight away, or you help us on a little mission.”
“What sort of mission?” Seymour asked.
“A mission for the STCP!” She said. “We'll wipe your memories afterwards of course. But we'll do that anyway, you've seen our secret base.”
Seymour was confused. “So... you've not seen Chrysler's ship?”
“Oh...err.. nothing.” Seymour said. Somehow Jay and Phil must have disguised themselves from the STCP's sensors. Probably by accident, it was too much to hope they did it intentionally.
Maybe they should accept Monroe's “mission”, to give Jay and Phil some time.
<OOC – Shall we accept? What should their mission be? >