Hey (hey) You (you) I Don't Like Your GELFriend

During breakfast.

The guilty GELF was attempting friendly conversation, but she wasn't having much luck.
“We are very sorry, man-thing. It was not our will” she tried. Solvay merely shrugged and ate his Cornflakes. She probed his emotions and sensed the reluctance to engage, it was grey and dense. Perhaps if she changed into human form she'd have more luck, she altered her appearance to become Cindy Crawford once more.
No clear reaction, just an empty glare. She sighed and tried changing into Cass, perhaps that would do the trick.
“Why?” At last he spoke, gesturing at her form.
“I thought you might like it.”
His spoon paused, his eyebrows lowered and the colour of his emotions suggested puzzlement.
“The violent man” she explained “his thoughts told me you have a 'massive crush' on this one.” She jerked a thumb at her currently Cass-identical self.
One of the lowered eyebrows lifted. “Oh. Did they now?” He maintained eye contact for a moment then went back to his Cornflakes.
“Yes. They also told me that this creature” she pointed towards White Wolf “is probably a pet”.
At that, the slightest of smiles flickered across the man's lips and she momentarily felt the yellow glow of humour pulse through him. It didn't last long.
He pushed his Cornflakes away, unfinished. “So's you know. It's rude to make yourself look like other people.”
“It is not flattering?”
“Don't think Cass'd see it that way, no.”
Embarrassed, she reverted to Cindy Crawford. “But this one?”
He shrugged.
She smiled at him. He didn't smile back, just scrutinised her with a tired squint. She decided to read his thoughts. It took nearly all the energy she had and it hurt her brain, but she was curious... It turned out he was simply wondering if she was reading his thoughts.
Well, that was worth it.

“Alex, could I have a word, please.” He looked up, it was Phi.
“Why didn't you come for your medical?”
“Had to help Seymour” he muttered, wincing a little at the memory. It had been extremely hard- Eugh not “extremely hard”...erm, extremely difficult... showering with Seymour, but the poor guy had looked so wretched, and humble for once, that he couldn't have just left him.
“What did you help him with?” An eavesdropping Justin asked, sweetly.
“I'll tell you when Cindy starts flying.”
The GELF was baffled, whatever could he mean? Pancake huffed.
Phi ignored the interruption. “Have you eaten?”
He pointed to the unfinished Cornflakes.
“And yesterday?”
“Pot Noodle.”
Phi screwed up her face at the thought and ran her eyes over him, she noted tiny blood marks on his t shirt. “In my office, please.”
He opened his mouth to protest but shut it when he saw the firm look on her face.
He shrugged meekly, too exhausted to argue or face any ladywrath. “All right.”

–
Phi's makeshift office near the canteen.

Alex sat on the edge of the table, hands crossed over his crotch as if politely resting there, but really placed strategically in an attempt to protect his dignity.
“Last time I was near you there was an electric shock collar in your hands, headed for my neck” he informed the young medic.
“What?”
“A GELF was... being you.”
“How horrible.”
“I know. I'd only just come round.”
“I mean the thought of one of those filthy pigs taking my form.”
“Oh.”
“But yes, horrible for you too. I'm so sorry, Alex. I thought you were sleeping soundly in recovery.”
He shrugged again. “S'okay.”
“How are you feeling?”
“Glad to be in proper clothes.”
“That's not what I mean.”
He cleared his throat. “What do you mean then?”
“Mentally.”
“Mentally?”
“Mentally.”
He pretended to think about it for a moment, she meant about the GELF slaughter, and the Huzzard but he should probably tell her about Brittany. The thought of saying it aloud made him feel stupid, however.
“... I feel... okay.”
“Hmm.” She smiled. “Where are your overall things?” She continued. “You nearly always wear your overalls, don't you?”
He was wearing grey jogging pants a grey t shirt and white sneakers, which he had to admit, made him look a bit like he was wandering the ship in pyjamas. He was hesitant to put any of his formerly beloved and comfy blue coveralls back on. They currently reminded him too much of being stabbed. She was on form today, how did she know that?
Still, he'd give her another reason. “Off duty.”
She gave another “hmm”.
“More comfortable during healing.” He added. “And with a-” he stopped himself mid sentence suddenly realising what he was saying, and where he was gesturing, and regretting it “... thing” he finished, replacing his hands and trying to hold down the rush of embarrassment threatening to flow through him.
“Indeed. And how is your... thing?” How she managed to keep a straight face he didn't know.
“All right. Won't go away.” He mumbled.
“That's to be expected at the moment. Could I see your...” His eyes widened “... staples, please?” Relief.
“Top off and lie down.”
He obediently took off his t shirt and gratefully used it to cover his groin.

She began her inspection, peeling back his dressing and prodding around her handiwork.
“Ow!”
“Sorry. It looks like you've been more active than you should have been.”
Alex had a flashback, remembering striding brazenly down the corridors, singing “You Can Call Me Al.” What the-
“... but I don't think it should affect things too much. You'll be fine. I'd like to re-dress it though.”
“Right you are. By the way...”
“Yes?”
“I'm not normally this fat.”
She looked at him. “You're not fat.” She wondered if it would be rude to ask about his scars, the human body and its ability to heal so efficiently was utterly fascinating.
“I am compared to normal,” he waffled on, more talkative than she'd ever heard him. “Flabby. It's gone a bit though. The GELFs, you know... All that food business. I will be working out again soon.”
“Not too soon I hope, you need to be resting.” Curious, she'd never taken him to be the vain type.
Still waters run deep.

She leaned over him to retrieve some dressings, and knocked some gauze off the shelf. She reached down beside his neck to retrieve it.
“Soap” she announced.
“Eh?”
“You smell like soap.” Admittedly, the cheapest soap available from ship's stores but soap nonetheless.
“What did you expect?”
“I don't know. Grease I suppose, and mud.”
“Mud!?”
“I don't know. You normally look quite... oily."
He looked at her without blinking. “I'm a mechanic.”
“Sorry!”
“I do wash, you know.”
“It's not really just you, just boys in general...”
“Boys...”
“Men, then.”
“Wow... Sexist.”
It was Phi's turn to feel flustered, oh dear she'd insulted him. He smiled at her and the penny dropped. Thank goodness, it was just his not very funny version of a joke.

---
Canteen again.

Back in the canteen Bedge was handing out cups of tea, one of which Alex gratefully accepted. He steadily imbibed its warm goodness as he listened to the plans for the holographic inspector and how they had to get the ship and crew in tip top condition. It was no skin off his nose, he was accustomed to taking orders and wearing uniform and knew he'd easily slip back into the habit. In fact he welcomed the thought of regulations and structure, it was comfortable. There was no smegging way he was cutting his hair though. He knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that Seymour would try and make him cut it. Not a snowball's chance in hell.

Just then, Niples screamed in horror, the shark guy had eaten his GELFriend.

“Holy shit...”

–
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