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View character profile for: Cassandra Jones
View character profile for: Jay Chrysler
View character profile for: Evelina Stone (Away)
View character profile for: Dr Jade Black
View character profile for: Jamie Eastlick
View character profile for: Samuel Jade Beckett
A Little Problem (Through Evelina's Eyes)Posted by
Posted: Jun 7, 2015, 10:01pm
Through the Eyes of Evelina:
As I fired a few more shots next to Jay we quickly took cover from the barrage of arrows. As we looked at each other we shared a look of concern.
“Damnit, where the hell is Jaxx when you need him.” Cass growled. Jay raised an eyebrow, but let the comment drop.
Jay looked at me to see I was thinking the exact same thing. He rolled his eyes up as he grinned and shook his head at me. I wasn't sure but by the look on his face I think I wished Jaxx was here to. I thought to myself, "When it came to a high body count and mass destruction not many compared to my dear sweet husband. I mean he could level a base just by accident with just a hammer and a banana peel. Damn I really do miss him and not just for protection. I can't believe I might not get another chance for some additional marital bliss before that crazy Bitch Brittany kills us all."
“There’s something off about this.” Jay said, retrieving an arrow from the dead hedgehog-human. He struggled with it for a moment and it snapped in two as he yanked it out of the corpse.
“The feathering is artificial.” Jamie said, popping up briefly to return a tomahawk, which sailed through the air and hit a soft squishy something.
“How..?” Jay began.
“Jungle… fighting… You know.” He said, before Jay had a chance to even ask.
Then suddenly a loud speaker came on as a small whiny voice echoed from the trees. As the voice became louder and more clear the Dwarfers could see a small child being lifted in a small golden throne by some big and beefy Arabian men dressed like genies.
The small voice French said, "Attention! Attention! All kneel before the mighty and majestic Napoleon! If you surrender now I shall let you live..........As my slaves! "
Jay winked at Cass and muttered, "Watch this." before he yelled back, "You and what army?"
Suddenly from out of the trees came hundreds of Huron Indian warriors.
Then after that came hundreds of French soldiers in green uniforms.
The little man (Napoleon) yelled, "This one!"
I sighed and said, "Ah snap! We are being hunted by a maniacal midget with an army of Indians and French soldiers and my husband is on the other side of the galaxy over 3 million years away. Could this day get any worse?"
Napoleon the said, "Of course the women will be my love slaves and any who object will loose their head."
Jade sighed and said, "It just got worse."
A million thoughts raced through my mind as I heard the demands of the crazed midget. I thought to myself, "Oh Snap is this smeghead is serious? I'll be damned before I let that little freak touch me much less be his "LOVE" slave. For crying out he is not even half the man Jaxx is. Hell he'd be luck if he was a sixteenth. (giggle) This body is officially off the market and only my husband has that right to touch it.........that is when I let him. (giggle) Damn now I really do miss him now. I can imagine him punting that pint sized nut bag across the forest like a soccer ball."
Napoleon the said, "Since your women hold value to me I will give you ten minutes to surrender. Should you try to escape or fight I will have your hides made into my floor rugs."
Cass thought for a second and said, "Wait a sec......The real Napoleon died long before this battle. He can't be the real one."
As I thought about it I wondered if she was right. I mean my knowledge of Earth History was limited to the fashion industry. However as I thought about it I do recall the french blue and white military uniform that pipsqueak was wearing was out of fashion when the Americans started wearing animal skin hats. As I ran through the fashion trends in my head I realized she was right so that meant either time was out of wack or we had a new enemy. I said, "Maybe he is a wax clone or a mech like the terminator."
Jay gritted his teeth and said, "Either way we got less than ten minutes to get out of this mess unless you ladies are into sex with a midget.
After Jay's comment the other ladies and I gave him an evil glare. As I thought to myself, "Not Happening Flyboy! I have plans to finish this mission and find my husband. Then I'm gonna make him beg me back before I rock his world. All we need now is a plan."
TAG (We got an angry Mini Napoleon with an army of French and Indians, what's next?)