Pished

So the hamster wanted to get trollied. Well that was fine by Alex. His ugly thump from the wagon had only served to remind him of the three million years he'd been painfully, boringly sober.
Three million years.
Three MILLION years.
That was quite good going in anyone's book. 'Course, he'd been suspended in time for that three million years, but that was beside the point, it was a long time to be sober and if anyone deserved to be wasted, it was him. He mentally kicked himself as he realised he was thinking selfishly after just one hit of the potent Dark Sherbet.

"I'm in." He growled, in an accent which wasn't strictly his own. Stupid side effects.
Wolf nodded.

"While we're in the Cyberpark, why not make it really interesting?" Grinned Jay.
Cass shot him a knowing look.

"I really must protest.” Seymour humphed. “As much as I enjoy fine wine, I fail to see how-"
He was taken aback as the scene changed from Legion's living room to a sophisticated Hollywood bar. A man in a fancy waistcoat sat at a baby grand, playing a jazzy version of an old crooner.
"I say. Maybe this isn't such a bad idea after all!" He swooped a glass from a passing waiter's tray.

Legion cocked his head, amused. "You realise I know what you're up to, Mr White Wolf."
"Yeah, 'cause you're us. Duh!" Davie snapped.
If Legion's eyebrow were visible it would've been quirked. "More because you planned it in front of me, really."
Davie coughed and accepted a drink himself.
"That doesn't matter" Said Whitewolf, with a mysterious twitch of his whiskers.
“Well, feel free to enjoy yourselves. There's nothing you can do which I haven't already thought of.”
Wolf simply snuffled in a surly manner and headed towards the bar. Alex scowled in Legion's direction and stomped after the gigantic hamster.

Cass sat elegantly on a bar stool as Jay slid over the bar and started mixing cocktails.
“You know what I'm thinking, don't you?” He gave her a half smile.
“Yup.”
“Go Team Jass, or Cay! Jassandra?”
"Don't do that."
"Sorry."

Legion took a seat on a comfortable settee diagonally opposite the pianist. Phi perched next to him.
“Legion...”
“Delphine.”
“I know why you want to keep us here, I do, but you have to realise how unethical that would be.”
“It's a matter of survival.”
“Yes. I know that, but what about our survival? And what about the brains in gunky jars? That can't be hygienic.”
Legion shuddered a little at the thought of bad hygiene, he was part Phi after all.
“I plan to sterilise everything. I'm more germ conscious these days.”
“Well that's a relief.” Phi offered him an awkward little smile, pleased that if she were to be a brain in a jar, at least it would be a clean jar.

Gomez munched on some dry roasted peanuts.
“Mmm. These're so good. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad to stay here, ch'oo know?”
Phil grunted. He was still a little nauseated from his gory discovery.
“Forgotten the part where you're destined to become a brain in a jar?”
“Ah. Si, there is that, I suppose.”
Phil shook off the chill. “Fancy a game of darts?”
“But amigo, there is no boa- Ahhh!” A board had appeared on the wall between the bar and the man in the snazzy waistcoat.

Justin sat in the corner, bound to a chair. Every now and then Jay would wander over and tip another drink down his throat.

Alex clinked glasses with White Wolf. He'd forgotten what they were drinking now, he just knew it was doing the job. They'd started with the 'Bombs and moved through a variety of colourful creations an increasingly wobbly Jay was inventing. Cass laughed loudly and Jay grabbed both her hands across the bar. “God, you're HOT!” He announced. Justin opened his mouth to agree but in a smooth movement Jay flicked a lemon into it. “Mfff!”

“Hey. Hey LEGION!?” Shouted Alex, in a Californian accent.
“Uh, yeah?” Said Legion with a little hiccup.
The Dwarfers laughed at the entity's unexpectedly informal tone.
“How're ye feelin'?” Alex continued, Scottish now.
“I'm... I'm feeling just fine thank you.” This was followed by a belch.
Jay joined in “Not pished then?”
“No, I'm not pished, pisshed, I mean... I am not pished.”
Peals of laughter again.

Seymour rocked merrily in the fitted leather seat he'd acquired by the fire.
“Well, I'm glad we're all happy again. Surprisingly happy seeing as... as...”
He burst into tears. “As we're all going to...”
“Hey, we're all going to be fine. That's what we're all going to.” Said White Wolf.
“You're going through the, going through... You're going through the sad stage of being drunk.” Slurred Davie.
“Yupp.” Phil smacked his lips exaggeratedly. “Just keep on drinking there, Nipps, you'll be happy again in no time.”

“Maybe a change of scenery might, um, cheer him up?” Suggested Phi.

Jay and Cass looked at each other.
“Time?”
“Not yet...”

“Where shall we go then?”