Highway To Hello

With few other options, the Dwarfer’s nervously trooped across the hangar.
“Ready?” Jay asked as they all took up their positions around the door, their weapons drawn and at the ready.
“Do it” Tara nodded, grimly.
At the touch of a button on the control panel, the door hissed back, retracting into the wall in one smooth movement.
“Oh my God!” Eve screamed in shock, clinging tightly onto Jaxx as she pointed through the door.

Jaxx held Evelina close as she held his arm tightly in fear at the sight of the sliced up bodies had been dismembered ever so neatly. Evelina whispered to Jaxx, “It looks like the butcher shop from the Motel Hell movie we watched several months ago.” Jaxx had to think about it for a while as he tried to remember which movie it was as Evelina held his arm tightly in fear. Then Jaxx whispered, “Like ain’t that the show where those most heinous dudes sold sausage made of customers?” Evelina shook her head as she whispered, “Yeah that one.” Jaxx was hardly fazed by the body parts since he was use to violence on a genetic level. Jaxx whispered, “Like why are ya scared Eve babe? Ya totally make me watch lots of scary movies all the time.” Evelina gave Jaxx a dirty look as she whispered, “That’s different Jaxx! Movies aren’t real. It’s different when you see and smell it for real.” Jaxx thought about what Evelina said and didn’t understand what she was talking about so he shrugged it off as a girl thing. Evelina looked at her pistol in her side holster and sighed as she realized she should have brought a rifle to. Then as Evelina was holding Jaxx’s large muscular finned arms her elbow brushed up against Jaxx’s back holster where he kept his holowhips. It was reassuring that he always kept them with him in case something bad happened, especially this time. When Evelina found out about going to a seven star resort she got excited and thought about having some fun with Jaxx. Evelina wanted to spend her time eating fine food and go swimming with Jaxx in the many pools in her skimpy bikini. It would have been an awesome second Honeymoon, at least that was what she thought till they saw the bodies. Evelina thought to herself as she looked at her amazing cleavage to see her bikini strap showing under her shirt, “Looks like I wore my bikini for nothing.” Then Evelina remembered in all those scary movies the pretty girls are and the dumb pretty boys are the first to get killed. That thought sent shivers down her spine as she tried to find a happy place. Evelina looked at Jaxx who seemed to have a blank look on his face as he looked around. Evelina wondered if Jaxx was even worried about where they were or was he deep in thought. In the eyes of Evelina, Jaxx was fearless, strong, insanely strong willed and sadly dumb as a box of bricks, but she couldn’t help it she fell in love with the big goofball for better or for worse. However it was reassuring for her to know Jaxx was by her side as well, especially when he had his whips.

Evelina flashed back to their honeymoon as she remembered how cute and innocent Jaxx was when she took his virginity in the spa. Evelina thought Jaxx looked so cute and innocent as he was scarred and suffering from a bad case of blue balls thanks to her. However she was glad he didn’t run from her or treat her badly after that. After the honeymoon was over Evelina remembered how cute Jaxx was when he wanted sex again. Jaxx looked like a nervous school boy asking a girl for a kiss each time he was to get intimate with Evelina. Evelina felt happy that Jaxx treated her like a lady and never tried to force himself on her. He always nervously asked for permission every time even if it was to just hold her hand and got embarrassed when she wanted to wear her themed underwear. Unknown to the rest of the crew Evelina was a bit of a Otaku pervert in the bedroom and liked to wear exotic lingerie as had her way with Jaxx. Though Jaxx didn’t understand the point of the couple dress up theme he would wear whatever Evelina told him to and was just happy to get sex again. In the eyes of Jaxx over the past month it had become normal to dress up like a horse with a bridle in his mouth and a hollow saddle on his crotch as his wife wore only a cowboy hat, a short leather vest and assless chaps during intimacy. As if the costumes were not enough Evelina loved to role-play as she acted out her parts. However Evelina told Jaxx to keep their love life a secret since it was a private thing. So of course under the threat of losing sex time with Evelina he agreed to not bring it up around the others.

Jaxx looked at Evelina who seemed to be in her own world at the moment and grinned at her. Jaxx was glad Evelina stopped trembling and was just holding his arm now. He looked around at the bodies and saw they were cut up by someone with a lot of skill. The skill level was like that of a doctor or a doctor machine. Jaxx thought, “I totally bet Franky dude would be able to share his most bodacious wisdom upon us. Too bad he like chose to remain on old Blue instead. I’ll like just have ta tell him about our most excellent adventure later.” As Jaxx looked around he thought, “I like wonder why theses wicked dudes would need to totally slice and dice up their customers. I like mean if business was so slow why not put up signs and stuff. Whoa like wut if they had tried to skip out on their bill or worse wut if they saw something they were not supposed to see like the chef using bad ingredients or the maids washing the dishes in the can.” Jaxx was dumbfounded as he racked his feeble mind around the mystery. He flashed back to all the mystery movies he saw with Evelina in the past during movie night. As Jaxx remembered how the detective searched for clues all round till he solved the mystery. One mystery group Evelina like to watch involved a bunch of humans and a talking dog that made a lot of mistakes but always managed to save the day by accident but Jaxx preferred another mystery group involving a retired boxer, his adopted Asian daughter, some ghost called Marky from Queensbeery and a talking bird that drank a lot of beer. Jaxx was amused by the retired fighter as he said smart things and punched everyone out. Jaxx remembered the fighter say, "One morning I woke up and found my favorite pigeon, Julius, had died I was devastated and was gonna use his crate as my stickball bat to honor him. I left the crate on my stoop and went in to get something and I returned to see the sanitation man put the crate into the crusher. I rushed him and caught him flush on the temple with a titanic right hand he was out cold, convulsing on the floor like an infantile retard." Jaxx smirked by that comment as he thought, “Wow like we are having a gnarly mystery here too. Like we should look for clues and stuff.”

At some point Jaxx saw Tara giving Cass a mean look but shook it off as some kind of rivalry over Jay. Jaxx remembered hearing someone say Tara didn’t like Cass being close to Jay, but the details were not mentioned. As Jaxx looked around for clues he saw something that looked out of place when the light reflected just right. After a while of observation Jaxx saw the pattern on the ground that looked familiar. Evelina saw Jaxx spacing out and asked, “Sweety did you find something?” Jaxx pointed at the weird pattern on the ground to the side of them and replied, “Like I know I have seen this wicked pattern before Eve babe.” Evelina looked at the pattern on the floor and quickly flashed back to the time when Jaxx was turned into a skutter. After the flashback Evelina replied, “They look like skutter tread marks Jaxx. It must have run over some paint or oil at some time.” Jaxx said, “Hey Jay dude I like found a clue to this most wicked mystery. Should we like follow these robo-tracks?” Jay looked to see faint bloody tread marks off to the side and looked around to see where they were heading. After some debate Jay looked at Jaxx and replied, “Good eyes Jaxx. Ok folks we don’t know what we are going to find at the end of these tracks so stay alert.” As the crew followed Jay through the hallways they found themselves at a sliding doorway. As Jay approached the door it slid open to reveal a factory run by robots. Small robots were busy running all around the equipment. As the crew looked they could see some green balls coming out of a giant dispenser into empty crates that were switched when full by the robots. Jamie looked and said, “I wonder what they are making?” Cass replied, “Probably something useless lest get out of here.” Jade replied, “Perhaps it is some kind of ballbearing.” Jaxx looked in an opposite direction and replied, “Like mystery solved folks they are totally dumping the bodies in that machine over there.” The crew looked to see what Jaxx was talking about only to see several robots dumping body parts on one end of the processing machine and green gumballs coming out of the other end. Evelina held Jaxx in fear as she replied, “Its Soylent Green.”


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