Dr. Boyd's Miracle Cure-All Pt. 1

<"Shut you damned mouth you condescending trans-dimension ass!" Artemis yelled. "I don't know whose idea it was to give them weed when they were already on FUCKING ECSTASY, but you're the biggest damned idiot left in this fucking galaxy! If you people had any common sense you would have decided to TRUST ME FOR ONCE! 'Oh, Artemis is pompous and brags about his PhD's, oohh waahh', I KIND OF HAD TO EARN THOSE! I DON'T SAY I'M QUALIFIED JUST TO BRAG, I REALLY FUCKING AM! SO WHEN I SAY LET ME DO THE TALKING AND LET THE MDMA DO THE WORK, I KNOW WHAT I'M GOD DAMNED TALKING ABOUT!"

"Artemis calm down" Jay said

Artemis took a deep breath.

"Since you people think you know everything, then you clean this up, I'm sure Dr. Black has something that can bring them back down" he snarled.

"I have an idea" said Boyd, strutting into the Arboretum with a six pack. "They're just freaking out, they just need to chill, and I'm a guy that can make them chill">

The Huzzards buzzed around the arboretum, the cocktail of narcotics boiling in them, they didn't know how to deal with the conflicting feelings other than panic and paranoia. They screamed and freaked out, scared as to what may happen. With a swift kick, the door to the arboretum and a flurry of broken glass, Boyd stepped through with a boombox in one hand and an army of six packs in the other. He looked back to the broken door and looked back at everyone else,

"Sorry, I'll pay for that."

He walked in as they started to panic again, he jumped up onto a tree stump in the center and yelled,

"ALRIGHT. EVERYONE CHILL THE HELL OUT. STOP WHERE YOU ARE AND SIT ON YOUR HANDS!" Boyd yelled. They stopped in confusion and stared at Boyd, he look all around,

"I didn't stutter boys and girls. SIT. ON. YOUR. HANDS."

They followed suit and sat down on the floor, sitting on their hands. Boyd stepped down and began to walk around the room,

"Now, a little birdy told me you guys are under the influence of some pretty nasty shit. I know where you're coming from, I've been there before. Many have tried to spike some of my stuff too, yet no one has gotten Ol' Boyd to fall yet."

He looked around at his watchful audience,

"It's scary, I know, I once snuck a bit of mescaline into the football team's water. But you know something, Titan U won the playoffs. I speak from experience as the man of 1,000 parties, that it's only temporary, and you need a little help getting down."

One raised his hand, Boyd looked over,

"I SAID SIT ON YOUR HANDS." He shouted, the hand went down,

"No questions. Just witness."

He placed the boom box down along with the army of six packs. He hit the play button,

"Kids, this is Dr. Weathers' cure-all to coming down off of that paranoid cloud you're on." He tore a few cans off the six pack and tossed them around, leaving one for himself,

"Pink Floyd, and Pabst Blue Ribbon."


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