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When in Jerusalem [FPF]Posted by
Posted: Dec 21, 2013, 12:33pm
Look at Alex on the floor and then at Jay, Jacky, Jade, Plisken some cheesy commercial looking pirate guy who seems full of himself. I say, “Hey Jay what’s going on?” Jaxx says, “You dudes what up? Guess what bro we totally ran into this dirty old dude who gave us stuff and then we like found Kenny dude before we totally found this place and stuff. I giggled as Jaxx kept the conversation simple with the others..
Jade checked on Alex as he slowly recovered. Jaxx chatted with the others about his and Evelina's adventures in the desert. Suddenly, a girlish scream shattered the somewhat pleasant atmosphere. Artemis came running down the street screaming like a mad man.
"RUN RUN GET OUT OF MY WAY!" he said, rushing by and accidentally knocking a groggy Alex back over.
"What the hell?" Jamie blurted.
"Who was that?" Dave asked/
"I think that was Artemis....." replied Plisken
They looked down the street to see a crowd of legionnaires careening down the road. In an instant, the entire crowd of Dwarfers, old and new, was gone.
"AAAAAAHHHHHH!" I lept off a small ledge and landed in a party of some sort. I navigated the party, uttering more sorrys and excuse me's than I'm comfortable with. A legionnaire crashed through the front door of the home where what I assume was a birthday party was being held.
"Halt heathen!" He yelled.
Using my amazing powers of expeditious thought, I devised a brilliant move to allow a quick exodus from the house.
I grabbed a...cake? I have no clue what the smeg I picked up, but I threw it in the face of the legionnaire, knocking him on his ass. I jumped over the bumbling Roman moron and took off, laughing. Vapid neanderthals and their useless armor!
I continued down the street, a swarm of angry Romans somewhere behind me. I couldn't understand why they were so angry with me, I had yet to do something to anger them! The self control it took not to call them fetish weirdos was outstanding(a few interns at the Charon labs like to play 'dress up' when they thought I wasn't around, their favorite was 'Roman Encounters', I must have made eighteen videotapes of these morons screwing like animals, although the tapes came in handy when I needed them to do something)
I slowed to a casual stroll and looped around to a main avenue to look for the others. Using my robes as cover I snapped a few photos for The Missus, knowing the she would love a few snapshots of Jerusalem.
Ah, how I missed my wife. She would have love going to Jerusalem, and she pushed to come along with me on our trip to rescue Miss Jones, but I couldn't risk her getting hurt, and she understood how frantic these escapades get. I appreciate how protective she is over me (it would seem I have no sense of self-preservation, or I'd have all of my original body parts), it's nice to know that someone cares that much about me. Maybe on our next voyage (pending the dangers of death and dismemberment) I might bring her with me.
My inner monologue was cut short but a Legionnaire knocking me to the ground.
"Ha ha!" he cried out. "Thought we'd lose you, eh?"
I scrambled to my feet, and gawked at the pair of roman soldiers that had cornered me.
I was trying to have a sentimental moment, and these douche bags had the nerve, the NERVE to ruin it! I've been through more in the past few hours than most people will experience in their entire lives! I've been chased by parasite infested zombies, shot at by the yakuza, poisoned by STCP assholes, and attacked by legionnaires. I supposed that was the limit....something inside of me snapped.
I grabbed the first legionnaire by the throat using my robotic arm and hoisted him up.
"I. AM. DONE. WITH. YOUR. SHIT!" I slammed the bastard into the ground, his friend ran off before I could do anything to him.
"That's right! Run you pussy!" I yelled, pulling an about face and walking away.
I wandered around the market for some time, feeling proud of slamming a Roman Legionnaire head first into the ground (an occurrence I never could have seen happening in a million years).
Eventually I found the other Dwarfers, who had defeated their own pursuers and rendezvoused in a small synagogue. It was nice to see everyone together, including two men I hadn't met before.
how did you lose your pursers?
what do we do next?